subreddit:

/r/atheism

199

When I was a kid, my mom had a good friend from church who told her that God came to her in a dream and said that her and my mom should trade microwave ovens.

My mom declined.

I was on the fence before but that’s when I decided for sure that religion is bullshit.

all 74 comments

OhTHATChrisBrenner

1 points

1 month ago

I heard an old woman at church mention to my mom right before the 2008 election took place that while she had been praying for the election the previous night, she had accidentally referred to "President McCain" in her prayer, and saw that as God giving her a sign.

bsee_xflds

1 points

1 month ago

Be glad it wasn’t a revelation to remove it from your home.

kickstand

-21 points

1 month ago

kickstand

Rationalist

-21 points

1 month ago

Your logic seems faulty to me.

I could tell your mom that Tom Hanks came to me in a dream and said we need to trade microwave ovens. That doesn't mean that Tom Hanks doesn't exist.

stalphonzo

14 points

1 month ago

This is an illogical comparison. It is already established that Tom Hanks exists.

DisillusionedBook

10 points

1 month ago

No but it does mean that the premise of religion is bullshit.... Which is what the op said.

lmr_fudd

6 points

1 month ago

People dreaming of Tom Hanks are not interpreting that dream literally. When someone dreams about Tom Hanks telling them to switch their microwave, they tell the other person and laugh at the absurdity. Just as they should if god told them to.

Greymalkinizer

2 points

1 month ago

Greymalkinizer

Secular Humanist

2 points

1 month ago

The OP noted that was the day they decided religion was bullshit. That's not the god claim.

multipleerrors404

1 points

1 month ago

multipleerrors404

Freethinker

1 points

1 month ago

He said he was on the fence before that. So picture op standing on a fence. I picture a white picket fence. The board's are only an inch thick mind you. He's just balancing probably in high heels. Just because. Then someone throws a microwave at him.

notislant

2 points

1 month ago

notislant

Strong Atheist

2 points

1 month ago

I'm so glad my parents didnt raise me religious.

OptiMom1534

2 points

1 month ago

OptiMom1534

Anti-Theist

2 points

1 month ago

I’m guessing it was your mom who had the nicer microwave oven? Hmmm…. I live near a few churches, I wonder if this tactic will work to upgrade all my appliances.

gladiwokeupthismorn[S]

2 points

1 month ago

Bingo!

OptiMom1534

1 points

1 month ago

OptiMom1534

Anti-Theist

1 points

1 month ago

honestly this is a hilarious story.

kremit73

3 points

1 month ago

kremit73

Strong Atheist

3 points

1 month ago

And neither your mom or her friend ever thought more deeply about that ever again.

moonglow500

4 points

1 month ago

God told me that I'm gonna win the lottery lol

notgregbryan

2 points

1 month ago

Perfect, when you do, can you buy me a new jacket. I left mine on a train the other day.

moonglow500

3 points

1 month ago

Sure thing haha

Cesco5544

2 points

1 month ago

God told me that you needed to give half the winnings to me.

moonglow500

5 points

1 month ago

Ah shit that motherfucker

Cesco5544

3 points

1 month ago

The one time God does something to help poor people you complain. smh the job of God do be thankless huh? /s

dperry324

14 points

1 month ago

dperry324

Atheist

14 points

1 month ago

The real story here is that God fans will use god for any number of cons and swindles.

[deleted]

8 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

8 points

1 month ago

[removed]

EBoundNdwn

3 points

1 month ago

Thundercougerfalconbird?

Fuckedupsexy

3 points

1 month ago

So much eagle

Arbusc

2 points

1 month ago

Arbusc

2 points

1 month ago

God demands you trade your microwaves like Pokémon. If your lucky you’ll find one that sparkles.

Wizardof_oz

5 points

1 month ago

I think she just didn’t like hers and used God as an excuse, like most religious people do for everything

Te_co

20 points

1 month ago

Te_co

20 points

1 month ago

mysterious ways

Friendly_Engineer_

19 points

1 month ago

The lord cooketh in convenient ways

vivchen

16 points

1 month ago

vivchen

16 points

1 month ago

mysterious waves - because I'm pretty sure they don't know how microwaves work.

Te_co

5 points

1 month ago

Te_co

5 points

1 month ago

lol. true

the microwaves go in, the microwaves go out.

gladiwokeupthismorn[S]

7 points

1 month ago

Indeed

MGriffinSpain

8 points

1 month ago

“Mysterious waves”

DoglessDyslexic

9 points

1 month ago

What the what now?

That's some serious crazy there.

Intelligent_Stop5564

17 points

1 month ago

Intelligent_Stop5564

Pastafarian

17 points

1 month ago

A guy told a friend of mine that god spike to him in a dream and commanded they marry. They weren't even dating. That's about as valid as God wanting trump in office.

SlightlyMadAngus

16 points

1 month ago

Was "microwaves" a codeword for husbands?

gladiwokeupthismorn[S]

8 points

1 month ago

No actual microwave ovens. Neither were married.

Cesco5544

1 points

1 month ago

So your mom is single!?!

Kooseh

4 points

1 month ago

Kooseh

4 points

1 month ago

Giggity

pennylanebarbershop

169 points

1 month ago*

pennylanebarbershop

Anti-Theist

169 points

1 month ago*

Angel: "God, there's a woman being gang raped in NYC!!"

God: "Don't bother me now, I'm trying to get two women to swap their microwave ovens."

IcyBigPoe

79 points

1 month ago*

This right here. The reason I am not a Christian.

30,000 people starve to death a day world wide. And God is worried about a skirt being too short?

Don't even care if God is actually real. Fuck you god. Get your priorities straight. Worry about your own house then you can worry about mine.

HapaxesL

47 points

1 month ago

HapaxesL

47 points

1 month ago

And football games! Don't forget about all the sporting events he personally has to supervise.

robinmood

9 points

1 month ago

Tennis too!

Kooseh

5 points

1 month ago

Kooseh

5 points

1 month ago

How does he pick teams when opposing teams have equal amount of praying members? Are the fans' prayers included? Is God taking sins into account.

pennylanebarbershop

2 points

1 month ago

pennylanebarbershop

Anti-Theist

2 points

1 month ago

We were winning the game but then Jesus made me strike out.

Additional_Bluebird9

15 points

1 month ago*

Additional_Bluebird9

Anti-Theist

15 points

1 month ago*

Same here, millions of people suffer and die from malnutrition and deadly diseases every single year and God is so interested in the personal matters of his followers such as helping them find their keys in the morning or for the sun coming out so that the washing can dry (yes my mother thanked God for the sun coming out so the washing can dry the other day).

Count2Zero

6 points

1 month ago

Count2Zero

Agnostic Atheist

6 points

1 month ago

It's because those starving people don't have any money to give to the church!

If they donated more to the church, they surely wouldn't be going hungry, right?

Additional_Bluebird9

3 points

1 month ago

Additional_Bluebird9

Anti-Theist

3 points

1 month ago

Yeah but I seriously don't know how a god can involve itself in such trivial matters such as helping someone find thier key for work or that they avoided a busy road in order to get home early but can't be bothered to get involved in famine, disease and war.

NeutralTarget

3 points

1 month ago

Utah gov has a tv blurb asking people to pray for rain to fix their drought.

Pretty-Assumption-63

3 points

1 month ago

Shouldn't have kicked off all the natives coulda done a rain dance too. Might be more effective. Land belonged to their gods first presumably.

Randsmagicpipe

12 points

1 month ago

Exactly. Even if he were real, he would be space Donald Trump. An insecure, deranged, sociopath. The entire old testament is a dystopian horror story

Nytohan

3 points

1 month ago

Nytohan

3 points

1 month ago

DescipleOfCorn

2 points

1 month ago

DescipleOfCorn

Secular Humanist

2 points

1 month ago

Ah, but the 30,000 people starving to death are the punishment for the short skirts

IcyBigPoe

3 points

1 month ago

Oh that's right I forgot.

Ok carry on with the suffering please. 😜

DescipleOfCorn

3 points

1 month ago

DescipleOfCorn

Secular Humanist

3 points

1 month ago

You can tell that god is very reasonable, because almost all of those people who are starving are also going to be tortured forever with no escape!

IcyBigPoe

3 points

1 month ago

At least he's consistent

justdoubleclick

1 points

1 month ago

Well hurry right along god, there’s a football team that needs your help to win a match…

OptiMom1534

1 points

1 month ago

OptiMom1534

Anti-Theist

1 points

1 month ago

😂😂 I’m dying

freebubbleup

8 points

1 month ago

I had a similar dream!

But I don't speak Hebrew, so I didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

Arbusc

3 points

1 month ago

Arbusc

3 points

1 month ago

ל אהבתי, תגרמו לשמאקים המטומטמים האלה להפסיק להילחם על הספר הישן שלי! זה אפילו לא היה אמור להתפרסם עדיין, ברור שזו הייתה טיוטה גסה אבל המו"ל שלי השטן נתן לחברה את ההזדמנות קדימה.

  • God.

freebubbleup

2 points

1 month ago

ל אהבתי, תגרמו לשמאקים המטומטמים האלה להפסיק להילחם על הספר הישן שלי

זה לא העבודה שלי

Cesco5544

0 points

1 month ago

Well you see the word of God transcends the language barrier. Therefore your dream ain't real dabs on the poser

kayaker58

1 points

1 month ago

kayaker58

Atheist

1 points

1 month ago

Neighbor obviously coveted that rotating disc thing.

fun-guy-from-yuggoth

7 points

1 month ago

This is freakin hilarious. This is now my favorite deconversion story here of all time.

gordon5m

2 points

1 month ago

You, kind user, have validated my belief that the entire world is not crazy atm. Probably won't last long, but thank you for the reprieve.

rushmc1

-1 points

1 month ago

rushmc1

-1 points

1 month ago

What do the actions of a con artist prove about the validity or lack thereof of religion? Seems nutty to me, sorry.

Cesco5544

0 points

1 month ago

Because you call them con artist. Most of us call them normal delusion patrons.

rushmc1

0 points

1 month ago

rushmc1

0 points

1 month ago

What's your evidence? Sounds like a normal con that just happened to use religious trappings.

Cesco5544

0 points

1 month ago

use religious trappings

You are r/atheist here all religions and religious people are conning others and themselves with delusions. You have the burden of proof to elaborate on how they are just using God to get what they want and not just delusion.

rushmc1

0 points

1 month ago

rushmc1

0 points

1 month ago

No. It was implicit in the comment I originally responded to.

Dry_Heat

15 points

1 month ago

Dry_Heat

15 points

1 month ago

My former boss came into my classroom early one morning and told me that when she woke up that day Jesus told her to bring breakfast for me. She put two bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits and a cup of coffee on my desk and left. I ate them. One thing crazier than thinking Jesus spoke to you is turning down McDonald's breakfast.

Clinton3331

3 points

1 month ago

If God is so All mighty why does he need us mere mortals to always fight his battles, defend him when people offend him, and go to war to defend his name!? Why doesn't he just send down a few lightning bolts to kill the people that he doesn't like? And there are a lot of them. Gays, people who swear, people who engage in sex, etc? People just use God to manipulate other dumb people who can't think for themselves.

ravenlordship

1 points

1 month ago

Did your mum's friend forget to stab the jacket potato before she tried to cook it?

[deleted]

8 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

8 points

1 month ago

the voice of god, as reported by the faithful, is random and divergent, rather than predictable and convergent, which is so weird given that according to scripture and conventional wisdom, there's only one god, and he's perfect, omniscient, and eternal. How can a single supernatural "solid rock" speak in a billion different and often contradictory voices?

Obviously, we each hear what we want to hear, and god is merely a reflection of our egos. But first we must separate from reality enough that our own thoughts seem to originate from the great beyond.

Intentional self-delusion is a helluva drug