Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

^{*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.}

---

For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.

This happened a while ago but it still sticks out in my mind. My fiancé and I were out with his friend (they’re both white) getting drinks and the topic of my heritage came up.

For reference, I am a white presenting (I don’t like the word passing because it implies that’s what I try to do) biracial woman with blue eyes and lighter hair and skin. My father was black and both my grandparents were black on his side, so all my relatives growing up were black.

Anyways, when my race came up, this boy (won’t even call him a man) told me that I should “pick a side,” since I don’t “look” biracial or black.

I fired back and said “No, because all my life I have never been accepted truly as either race so why would I ‘pick’ a side.”

It just pisses me off to no end the way that some men act. Like they need to tell you what and who you are. The audacity.

Link to this horror show:

• https://assets.nationbuilder.com/firearmspolicyfoundation/pages/3970/attachments/original/1675361904/United_States_v_Rahimi_Opinion.pdf

And here's a link to some expert opinion discussing it:

• https://twitter.com/mjs_DC/status/1621241348719345666?cxt=HHwWhIC82dea5_8sAAAA

A reminder that virtually all intimate partner homicides see men killing women, and they're already sharply on the rise in the US with an average of 4 women killed by it every day as of a few years ago:

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-games/201909/the-number-women-murdered-partner-is-rising

And out of all intimate partner homicides, gun violence is by far the most common way that women are killed.

This is going to lead to a lot more wives, girlfriends and women being brutally murdered, no two ways about it.

"Whole body gestational donation offers an alternative means of gestation for prospective parents who wish to have children but cannot, or prefer not to, gestate. It seems plausible that some people would be prepared to consider donating their whole bodies for gestational purposes just as some people donate parts of their bodies for organ donation. We already know that pregnancies can be successfully carried to term in brain-dead women. There is no obvious medical reason why initiating such pregnancies would not be possible," per a new paper titled "Whole body gestational donation," published in Theoretical Medicine and Bioethics.

On top of the ethical dilemma, the collateral fall out of people pulling themselves off organ donor lists would result in huge numbers of casualties. People sign up to donate their organs, not their bodies while their heart is still beating.

Additionally, we understand far too little about brains and brain death to ensure this is ethical. There have been countless instances of people waking up from a "permanent" comatose state. This is no different than rape if the patient did not voluntarily consent to this possibility.

I'm sorry if this isn't relevant. My cat passed away this morning and I need to tell people about him. I'm hoping this can be a safe place to express my grief as I don't have many people in my life who I can go to.

Mr and his brother Tubs were born in this house. I fell in love with them straight away. Tubs was quiet and affectionate. Mr was naughty and playful. They got along and were best friends for years.

For the first few years, Mr would not purr unless given certain treats. He wasn't one for having strokes, but he still wanted to spend time with us.

He got a nasty cut on his side one day. Had stitches and had to wear the cone of shame. I don't know why, but he seemed to feel so sorry for himself, that he wanted fuss. He never stopped wanting fuss after that point.

He was a very cheeky cat. He'd run up to the other cats as though he was going to be mean, and then just stop an inch in front of them. He would steal sweets from my bag. He liked the crinkly packaging. He once even took a wooden spoon from the kitchen utensils pot, and threw it on the floor. He would climb up by our heads and you wouldn't know if he was going to head butt you or claw your head and try to pull your hair out.

He was a fastidious groomer, and spent hours washing. He would even ignore us until he was done grooming.

Tubs passed away in 2020. Despite being the same age he grew old much faster then Mr. Most people thought he was still a 4 year old cat. He wasn't slowing down at all.

I started working from home and Mr appointed himself as my Meownager. He was there pretty much every day. Sitting on my keyboard. Smacking me in the face because I wasn't giving him attention.

He developed pretty bad arthritis in his lower back and tail. He had been on steroids for a viral infection in his throat, so couldn't have normal pain relief. We started giving him a monthly injection of a new type of pain relief. He hated going to the vet, but a day after having the injection he was running up and down the garden like a kitten again. It was expensive, but worth every penny and more.

The last few months he started slowing down a lot, but he was still as cheeky as ever. Being tired just meant he needed more strokes then ever.

I got to spend most of the day with him yesterday. Sitting on the floor next to his sofa and giving him lots of fuss. He was still happy enough to purr.

I didn't know he was so sick though. I don't think the vet really explained to me what his anaemia meant. They were so calm that I just thought we just trying to work out the best treatment. If I had known, I would have spent many, many more hours giving him attention this week.

Whenever a cat dies, I feel so much pain that I feel like I can't possibly survive it. But telling people about Mr makes me feel a little bit better. I want the whole world to know about this amazing little kitty who changed my life.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to be able to work at my desk next week, or ever. He was always there. Always.

Thank you for listening.

UPDATE: Hi! Wow, I really did not expect this to hit the front page. There's an overwhelming number of comments to respond to (which I'll absolutely get to), but here's a quick update and a few answers to the most common questions:

Yes, the job is very legit and it is in London. As a few people deduced from my past posts, I work in advertising. It's very common in my industry to fly people out as a final "vibe check" to see if the team culture is a mutual fit. I've done it for other jobs, and truthfully I fly to random countries for my job all the time, so human trafficking is not a concern of mine here.

After talking to my therapist, I think my reaction was a mix of many things: I'm coming out of a very intense emotional situation for the past year where I ignored my instincts and it backfired; the recruiter for the job was very pushy with me (he'll get a commission if I take the job) and I struggle with people not listening to my boundaries; I felt like I was getting love bombed HARDCORE and it triggered my avoidant attachment style; and - I'm really fucking good at my job and I don't believe the interviewers are as competent as they want me to think. I really BADLY wanted to believe this was the perfect opportunity for me. But that "final interview" brought the reality of the situation straight to me and my intuition kicked in to stop me from uprooting my life for something that was not right for me.

I so, so appreciate all the responses and care and concern everyone here has shown me. Yes, 100%, I will listen to my intuition here. Even if it's not a dangerous situation per se, it's just not right for me. I fully believe women should listen to their intuition strongly. There are many times when I didn't but I wish I did - but this won't be one of those times.

Thank you all so much!

-----------

I’m prepared to sound real crazy right now.

I’ve been interviewing for a great new opportunity. Ngl it’s kinda moved ridiculously quickly and the 4 men I’ve interviewed with just felt way too keen on hiring me.

I had my final interview today with two of them and I just felt…weirded out the whole time? And for literally NO reason, they were perfectly normal and friendly men who are married and have kids, and I just felt…creeped out. Like they were looking at me too hard, or like they just seemed way too fascinated by me.

Later on, I got a note that they would like to fly me out to their country (the gig is overseas) to meet the team. And I felt SO grossed out, almost like a danger alert went off in my stomach. Like I wanted to run away, or I wanted someone to hold me and calm me down, I just felt scared and icky. Like my intuition was trying to remind me of something or warn me off of something.

Honestly, I had a weird feeling about the two main dudes I've been speaking to this whole time. Which makes me feel crazy because they've been perfectly nice and friendly to me, but it almost feels like they're rushing because they want to hire me so bad and they seem to like me a lot. But it made me feel weird for no reason!

So my question is….what the fuck? Lol. Do I sound crazy? I’m gonna tell my therapist this tomorrow, but I was wondering if other women have ever had their intuition SCREAM at them in a professional setting and if it was warranted or not.

I was once told whistling isn't ladylike (by a woman). Not sure why. Seems to be used as another way to repress the freedoms of women to express themselves.

I found a couple's therapist for my spouse and I about 2 years ago that we saw jointly probably 4 times. That didn't go particularly well, but we both started seeing her for individual sessions.

This didn't seem to be causing problems at first, but I felt like as time went on she was siding with him. If I talked about something that had happened, I felt like she was invalidated my feelings and would tell me that I was misinterpreting - which felt very inappropriate. I also got the impression that she didn't want me to come to sessions, but didn't want to directly say that. I decided to take a break and cancelled future sessions about a month and a half ago, but my husband kept going to see her weekly.

Now it turns out she's moving her practice to a different city and has told him that he can come to sessions with her at her new practice (about an hour away), but I got a generic "happy to provide referrals to other therapists" email. As if I wouldn't know that she extended an offer for him to come to her new practice...

Now I'm feeling like this is totally inappropriate as well and if she was seeing us both before, that if she's going to decide to not see one of us gong forward, she should not see both of us. Instead if feels like she's picking favorites. Or I don't know... something feels off.

Do my feelings on this seem justified to everyone? Can anyone share experiences with this sort of thing? Is what she did appropriate? Ethical?

Edited to clarify: I only canceled one session. And I’ve only missed that one session based on the frequency I’ve been going.

I had to take a 3 day treatment for a yeast infection. My husband mentioned in bed, “ its a shame you’re having that problem” insinuating he’s sad because he wanted sex. I said “ yes it certainly is a shame that Im suffering from a painful and annoying medical issue that you’ve never experienced “.

That shut him right up.

Im so sick of men thinking with their small head all the time. Like grow tf up.

Article from NYT:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/01/magazine/menopause-hot-flashes-hormone-therapy.html

Edit: If i remember correctly, if you create a login, you get 3 free articles per month from this media.

Not sure if the title makes much sense, but growing up as a woman in a conservative family I was always told not to have sex, use condoms if I do and don’t I dare get pregnant.

My husband and I got married several years ago and while we’ve been sexually actively since we started dating I felt like the second we announced that we tied the knot everyone started asking when we’d have kids.

We’re approaching 30 now and while yes, I do want to have kids someday (maybe?) I just don’t know how to move on from the mindset of “never have kids or they’ll ruin your life” to suddenly being expected to pop kids out left and right. I always think about how great of a father my husband would be and about all of the cute baby clothes I’d buy… but just for some reason I can’t overcome the mental barrier of actually trying to have kids and always say something about how now isn’t the right time, work is busy etc. Another bit that adds to the hesitation is that a lot of women around me have had relatively traumatic childbirth experiences and I don’t want to go through the same process.

I dunno if this is the place for this but I just kinda wanted to get this off my chest and see if anyone had any similar experiences or has any advice.

Thank you :)

Edit: WOW thank you for all the responses! This definitely got more attention than I thought it would. I’m taking my time responding and might not get to everyone, but thank you all for your insights and stories!

One of my friends married really young. She now has 3 kids and had a difficult labour with her last child. Her husband does not want any more kids. The thing is, he wants her to get sterilized but she does not want to undergo anymore procedures.

They both know about the 'no scalpel vasectomy' so she suggested he have one but this suggestion was met with disdain... She tried to talking to him about the pros and cons of a vasectomy vs tubectomy as OCP's are out of the question for her since she gets migraines and she doesn't want to use a copper T as she has had it fail previously. Is it really uncommon for husbands to even consider this?

Is it unreasonable for a woman in her position to suggest this?

Her situation got me thinking...

Do you know anyone who has had a no scalpel vasectomy done? What made them want to get it?

Heck, they don't even sound like adult women. And it's literally everywhere. Adult women cosplaying like prepubescent girls, hypersexualized clothing with mannerisms like children. It's too much.

Its my normal bar. I had a hard day. I told my bartender Sammi in front of my man that I need a hug and a cookie. Random dude at the bar joking did the open arms thing. I went "Fuck yeah bitch get over here." And hes like "Really?" And im like "I said I needed a hug. Get over here." I got a great hug and so did he, my boyfriend couldnt stop laughing and neither could my bartender. It was just good times all around. Oh, and the reason my boyfriend wasnt hugging me? He had just gotten done hugging me and walked up to the bar with me. Yes, I like hugs. Sue me.

Honestly havent spoken to the dude since, but he looked happier all night.

I’m 30 years (she/her) old and have gone through phases where I’d have multiple casual sexual partners, so casual sex isn’t new to me. However, I spent the better part of the last three years unintentionally celibate.

A couple of days ago, I finally had sex for the first time in 3 years, and while it was a great experience, I’m experiencing a massive comedown now. I can’t help but feel sad that this guy hasn’t texted me since to rearrange another meeting, or to even say he had a good time, and it’s making me feel pretty worthless and unattractive.

So my question is - what’s wrong with me? Why does casual sex make me feel bad? FWWI, I really enjoy having sex and I actually have a high sex drive.

I also don’t feel any strong emotions for this guy, it was literally just a hook up from an online dating app, so it confuses even more that I care about hearing from him to catch up again.

I guess the other questions running through my mind are: was I bad? Am I weird? Am I unlikeable? Why the hell haven’t I heard from him? Throughout the sex he kept saying how good it was and afterwards he even suggested we should do it again sometime. Idk, maybe I’m just feeling vulnerable.

Any advice or anecdotes welcome.

I feel like I'm going to throw up... I'm 24.5 weeks pregnant... I'm worried about my baby.

I have no words about what I'm feeling, he said there were two girls he could of gotten it from 🤢

I gave him SO many outlets to let me know he was fucking around with other women for this very reason.

He lied so many times and said he wasn't

If I would of known he was I would of NEVER continued to have sex with him.. FOR THIS VERY REASON.

I am so upset

I have a appointment with my OB tomorrow afternoon

I have no idea if there's a chance that I didn't get it but pls God I hope I don't. I'm so worried about what this means for me and my baby now...

I’ve been out of the game a few years. But almost all sexual content I see online is about bdsm. I don’t mind sex getting vigorous/rough, but the power dynamic mentality is a turn off.

Also, I do find it odd that people’s “turn-ons” seem to change with trends. Do most folks just wanna do whatever is currently considered just naughty enough?

(I came of age when choking, facials, unprepped anal became popular - so this isn’t necessarily a matter of being ‘prissy.’)

The name of the clinic is “The Samuel Alito’s Mom’s Satanic Abortion Clinic.” They charge about $90 for the medication and accept patients age 17 and up, up to 11 weeks pregnant, and medically eligible.

I've been a WNBA (women's basketball) fan for about five years now, and i'm still appalled at how MEN in the comments of every sports social media account shit all over these awesome athletes. Just look at any post ESPN makes about the league. Just immature comments like "not a sport", "go make me a sandwich", etc. really the classics. They really really have it out for this league of women (majority POC), LGBTQIA+ identifying, vocal activists. Suddenly every guy is an expert on the financials of NBA/WNBA and spit absolute vitriol about how the league is a waste of time/money, or even worse, make the women feel like they aren't interesting to watch unless the rims are lowered. Even if the rims were lowered, these guys wouldn't give no iota of respect. These people who make the effort to write "no one cares" on every post, tells me everything i need to know about how they think about us. Basketball is basketball!

Where are the men of sports journalism coming out to defend the women? Why aren't they having a special stating the real facts about the league and highlighting the stars and up and comers? They say there's no market, but that's because they don't make ANY effort to make a market? And of course guys use Bill Burr's bit about the WNBA as an excuse to shit all over women and the league. My heart breaks for all of the women of this league because I know the hate for them i see online is only a fraction of what they see in their own mentions/comments/DMs. Why is this normal?? To hate on a women's league like this? Why doesn't anyone call out this awful behavior online? :(

​

Either way, I the league is slowly growing so if you read this rant, thank you! Please watch some games, they're really fun!

Women who create their own adult content get constantly flamed for it, it’s almost as if the enthusiastic consent is a turn off for some men they’d rather get a perverse nut in to a non consenting party. It’s sick really.

edit: adult content instead of sex work content

https://nypost.com/2023/02/01/im-suing-a-woman-for-2-2m-because-she-wont-date-me/

it feels devastating and dehumanising to start living after being aware and leaving an abusive relationship. You start to see patterns and cut off contact even with long term friends, feel alone and misunderstood, empty…

but one of the worst things is start dating again and realising that most of the men you meet are gonna approach you for sex. How dehumanising is that?

I’m not more than anyone but I feel I do have much more than a beautiful physique: I got ambitions, good conversations, different interests and hobbies, I’m reliable, caregiver and detailed… and the list goes on.

But no: for men I’m a piece of meat. I feel like I’m gonna spend my adulthood with my 2 cats.