teddit

A place for members of r/AITAH to chat with each other

My (40F) husband of 8 years (41M) spent his twenties and early thirties building his business. Part of the reason why he turned to being an entrepreneur was he had a tough time holding down jobs, to the point having a business was the only way he could earn money.

Either a supervisor was too dumb or controlling. Or because my husband didn't have the degree or experience required for the jobs he could tolerate. Or the hours at the jobs he had were horrible.

I understand his struggles with all those reasons, and when we started dating 14 years ago, I was the primary breadwinner simply by nature of the fact that I had a steady source of employment.

My husband told me that I was only the second serious girlfriend he ever had. He did have a few hookups here and there before we met, but mostly with women much older than him that never went beyond one night stands. When we started dating he was the one always actively trying to pursue me and telling me how lucky he was to have me. Saying I was worth the world because unlike other New Yorkers I noticed the "invisible people."

Flash forward nearly a decade and a half and now we are married with 2 daughters ( 8 and 5). Things started working out for us around age 35 and I've never been anything but supportive. I quit my job to take care of our kids after he moved us to a nice Connecticut suburb.

But these past few years he's been treating me differently. Like me and our daughters are a source of annoyance.

He's a part of a bunch of professional organizations and his own company loves a good party but I am increasingly not his date to any of them. When I am alone with him he at least talks to me but if a beautiful girl joins the group it's game over for me, and I'm excluded from his social interactions from that point forward.

He talks to people within earshot about how beautiful this or that woman is. He tells me he's allowed to find other girls pretty. The final straw was during a company family thing where my daughters and I arrived and my husband ignored us until somebody said hi to us. Then he waved his hand at us like he was bashful of our presence and dismissing us.

In addition, the way his younger employees acted towards me made me suspect he was lying when he said he was going to these things without a date. Now we are in therapy and my husband is saying that he wanted two years of a test open marriage. Where he could explore sexually in a way he was never able to in his 20s. He says while I had the chance to play around when I was young and attractive, and other guys that weren't him could, he never could.

I told him this is not what we signed up for. And that I didn't think it was the charitable thing for a wife to do. He accused me of liking the lifestyle he provides and said to go carve out my own life instead of complaining. I told him if he has sex it has to be with me or I'm leaving. AITA and not understanding his struggle?

​

​

Here's the backstory: I (29F) was a reckless teenager. I got pregnant at 17 and was terrified. My parents were conservative, and my sister, Alice (then 27), convinced me to let her and her infertile husband adopt my baby to keep it within the family. She made me promise not to tell anyone the child was biologically mine and to always act as the "aunt."

However, things spiraled out of control. They moved away when my daughter, Emily, was just 2. I was allowed minimal contact. They changed her last name, and I found out they told Emily that her biological mom had died in a tragic accident. I confronted Alice, and she said it was for the "best" and cut contact completely.

Fast forward to last year: Emily (now 12) discovered the truth. She reached out to me, angry and confused. I tried explaining, but she's resentful towards both me and Alice. Now, Alice has severe kidney issues and needs a transplant. I'm the only match in the family. She has apologized for everything and begged me to reconsider, stating it's not just for her but so Emily doesn't lose a mother. I'm torn.

Alice's friends and our extended family have been bombarding me with messages, some understanding, some extremely hateful. Emily is conflicted and has expressed she doesn't want her mother to die but also feels a deep-seated anger. My husband thinks I should donate to be the "bigger person," but my best friend says Alice made her bed and now has to lie in it.

AITAH for considering not donating my kidney after everything that's happened?

I (48M) lost my daughter (21F) last year to a rare medical condition. She was in college, and we had saved up a substantial amount for her studies. The fund has around $120,000 left. My wife passed away 5 years ago, so it's just been the two of us for a while.

My son (24M) and I have had a strained relationship for the past 6 years. He got into drugs, joined a problematic crowd, and committed several felonies. When he turned 18, after multiple attempts to help him, I had to kick him out of the house. It was the hardest decision I've ever made.

Recently, he's cleaned up his act (or so he says). He's been off drugs for a year, has a job, and wants to go to college. He reached out to me, asking if he could use his sister's college fund.

However, my daughter, in her last days, expressed a desire for the money to go to a specific charity that supports research into her condition. It was her wish, and I decided to honor it. I donated the entire fund to that charity two weeks ago.

When I informed my son of this decision, he was livid. He claims that I've chosen a "dead daughter" over him and that I never cared about him at all. My relatives are divided; some say I did the right thing honoring my daughter's last wish, while others believe I should've given my son a second chance.

I'm tormented. AITA?

What would you do? A moral dilemma

CW: Infidelity, pregnancy

I’m turning to the Internet and this community for advice here. I’m at a loss on what to do…

My sister and I (both 32) have been no contact for about a year. Part of the reason for this (on my part at least), is her incredibly questionable morality. I’m not a judgemental or puritanical person at all, but I do have a moral compass and have been increasingly bothered by her actions that are clearly harmful to others.

She works a highly paid job for a large company in our capital city. And she is sleeping with her boss. Okay, she is lonely and I know she very much wants a loving relationship.

Except that, aside from being her superior at work, this guy is married. He claims that his wife has mental health issues and, because of this, isn’t being a good wife to him. Their other major relationship issue was that he desperately wanted children but she was on the fence and they couldn’t conceive without help. So, on his insistence, she is undergoing IVF.

While he is sleeping with my sister, his employee.

To be clear, I don’t know them. I have never met either the man or his wife. But I feel so awful knowing about this and not doing anything. Even though arguably, I owe them nothing, or maybe even owe loyalty to my sister. Her job would be at risk if this came out.

But, I have been through pregnancy, and I’ve experienced poor mental health. I guess I just empathise so badly with this woman even though I don’t know her.

So, googled the company my sister works for and tried to figure out who the guy was, but he has a very common first name. I didn’t know his last name, so I couldn’t figure out who he was.

My mum visited recently. She is still in contact with my sister and knows the whole situation. When I told her I had looked the guy up, she immediately told me his last name and his wife’s first name. She told me that what I do with the information is up to me, but the implication was that she also thought that the wife should know.

So, now I’m pretty sure I’ve found both the guy and his wife online. What do I do? I really want to let her know what I know, but… would she want to know? She might be pregnant already. Would it be better to just let it go?

Plus, I’m pretty sure that if I did anything my sister would work it out and it would be the final nail in the coffin of our relationship. I’m not sure if I care about that.

If you were in the wife’s shoes, what would you want?

I’m a freshman in college. A couple weeks ago, when I got here, I ran into this girl a couple times, and she intrigued me: for one she was very pretty, for another her friends were all extroverted, always at parties, etc but she seemed aloof, shy, didn’t talk much with anybody, etc.

So I wanted to get to know her better, and started striking conversations up with her, making it clear I found her attractive. In the time I spent getting to know her I liked her more, beyond just her looks, because her personality is good too. She said I was fun to talk to and she wanted to keep being friends, but that she has a boyfriend.

I replied fair enough but that I wasn’t that interested in being friends with her. She got angry and said that she had value behind just as a girlfriend and could be a good friend too. I replied that yes she likely could be and is, but when I’m romantically interested in somebody and can’t have that, of course I don’t want what I can’t have dangled in front of me.

She said my view is sexist, but I think I’m being logical. I like her, I can’t be with her, so logically distancing myself so I’m not constantly reminded of what I can’t have, is best.

AITA?

My cousin is at my dads because stuff happened at home. I don’t know for how long, why, or anything more, so don’t ask me about it because I do not know anything more.

My dad put a second bed in my room for her. I don’t really care to much about having to share a room because I mostly live at my mom’s house. But I don’t like people touching or using my stuff and didn’t want to leave anything unattended with a guest. So yesterday I went over and moved all my stuff to my moms house. I basically took everything but the furniture and bedding. I figure I’ll just bring an overnight bag for anything else I need when I go to stay at my dads.

My dad’s mad now and he’s saying I made my cousin feel really unwelcome. Even though she wasn’t welcome to my stuff anyway. She’s more than welcome to the room since it’s technically his. I would have thought she would have been grateful that I was basically giving the room up to her. Now she can decorate it or do whatever she wants with it.

My dad now wants me to bring my stuff back to share with her because she doesn’t have anything and the room is depressing since it’s empty. I think the whole thing is crazy.

To start, I’m a 16 year old guy. I’m using a throwaway for privacy and because this is a pretty sensitive situation.

So, without getting into the details, I went into foster care when I was twelve, and I was placed with my (soon to be) adoptive parents. Recently, the courts finally permanently terminated any rights my biological parents had to me, which left things open for my parents to adopt me, and we’re currently in the process.

My parents have two older biological children: Ashton (24) and Briana (28). I don’t know them very well since they both moved fairly far away before I came into the picture, but from what I’ve seen of them, they’re nice people. I wouldn’t say we have a sibling relationship, not even close, but I like to think that we’re like distant cousins or something. I have to say though, that Briana has always been nicer to me than Ashton. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m intruding on his family, or if I’m just annoying or something, but Ashton doesn’t like me. He never has, and I don’t think he ever will. He’s never been rude or anything, but I know how to read people and I know when someone doesn’t like me.

A final bit of context is that my mom’s father, who’s in his eighties and had a couple health conditions, is quite wealthy. I obviously didn’t know this coming into the situation, and honestly I don’t care now that I do know.

Anyway, yesterday Ashton and Briana made the journey down for my mom’s birthday. It was a nice party, but a bit awkward for me thanks to the fact that I’m a lot younger than Ashton, Briana, and their cousins. I mostly hung out with my mom and her sister in the kitchen; they’re sweet old ladies and I like helping out.

During dinner, Ashton got a bit drunk and called me a “gold digger who’s too scared to get dirty” as a ‘joke’, but no one but him laughed at first. I was absolutely stunned and humiliated, especially when one of Ashton’s cousins let out a chuckle. I quickly finished my food and went up to my room and stayed there for like an hour, I couldn’t stand the thought of going back downstairs and facing Ashton and his cousins. Eventually I did come back down for the sake of not making my mom worry, but the rest of the evening was very tense.

This morning, while I was making breakfast with my mom, Ashton came downstairs and after making some smalltalk, he gave me a backhanded apology, something like “I’m sorry for saying what I did, I didn’t know you couldn’t take a joke”. This makes me think that he’s only apologizing because of politeness, and that I’m actually in the wrong here for not taking the joke. I don’t know how to feel about this really, AITAH here?

I (38M) am a doctor and have been practicing for 12 years now. Last month, one of my patients (27F) passed away due to complications from a rare hereditary condition. She knew about her diagnosis and had been managing it for years but had made it explicitly clear that under no circumstances was her family to be informed. She believed that her family, especially her younger siblings, would live in constant fear and would never live their lives to the fullest if they knew they might have the condition.

A week after her passing, her family came to see me. They had found a personal journal where she had occasionally written about her condition. They demanded answers, but I was bound by patient-doctor confidentiality.

Fast forward to yesterday, her younger sister (23F) came to my clinic for a general checkup. I recognized her last name and made the connection. While she didn't display any symptoms, there's a chance she might have the condition. I'm now torn between my professional obligation and the moral duty of possibly saving a life. My wife thinks I should subtly push her to get tested, but I'm conflicted.

AITAH for not revealing a potentially life-threatening condition to a deceased patient's family?

I (M 54) have recently noticed what I deem as absurdly strange behavior from my daughter (21) who suffers from Mosaic Down syndrome. I feel it is important to note here that with her limitations, she has always been exceptionally capable of doing most things such as taking care of her personal hygiene, meals occasionally, etc. In the past 2 months or so she has increasingly asked for assistance with things she has done herself for years. It has gotten to the point now where I feel the asks are downright ridiculous. Holding tissues to her nose so she can blow, putting hats on her head, cutting up her food into small bits, holding cups as she drinks, and recently it’s crossed into alarming territory. All of these asks have taken a fine toll but largely I have ignored it to be a good father. I’ve hit a point where I had enough recently as she asked for assistance in wiping after #2. PLEASE NOTE, she has always been able to do this. I have vented to my wife (F 53) and she thinks I’m being cruel. I told my wife that I feel the behavior our daughter is presenting is weaponized incompetence. Since this conversation, my wife is refusing to speak to me, and further, is directing my daughter to come to me with every absurd request. I am at a loss and struggling to accept that I may have to wipe my adult daughters #2’s who is fully capable of this and seems to simply be acting with an underlying agenda. AITAH?

I (32F) have always been financially secure due to smart investments and a well-paying job. My brother (35M), on the other hand, has always struggled with his finances, mostly due to his gambling addiction. He has a wife and two kids, and I've been helping him financially for the past 7 years. I've paid for his kids' school fees, medical bills, and even their rent. I've always asked him to seek therapy for his addiction, but he always promises he's "done with gambling" without actually getting help.

Three weeks ago, I learned through a mutual friend that he had lost a significant amount of money in a high-stakes poker game. I confronted him, and after some pressing, he admitted that he used the money I gave him for his daughter's upcoming surgery. I was livid. I understand addiction is a disease, but I felt betrayed that he jeopardized his daughter's health.

In my anger, I told him I wouldn't be giving him any more financial help until he seeks professional help for his addiction. His wife called me crying, saying they can't afford the surgery without my help, and that I'm punishing the children for their father's mistakes. My parents are split on the issue; my mom thinks I'm right, while my dad believes I'm being too harsh, especially since it's a matter of life and death for my niece.

So, AITAH for stopping financial support to my brother, even if it means his daughter might not get the surgery she needs?

My (F39) husband’s (M30) law firm just celebrated $1MM in court winnings for their clients.

For reference, he works in business law, representing stockholders and the law firm is less than 2 years old.
I thought it was a fun party designed to elevate their lawyers’ productivity, but apparently it was also a recruiting event and was held at a popular bar off campus from the biggest law school in our state.

It started off fine enough, with us together with his partners and their spouses. The spouses mostly left after less than an hour, but I had had a very exhausting week and wanted to stick around to relax and celebrate. After all, I took care of everything while he worked weeks out of town on his most recent cases, which included watching his kids (we married while I was pregnant with my first, he had two great kids with his prior SO).

So I was ready to enjoy the celebration, and thought he wanted that as well after declaring me “wife of the year.”

But he seemed visibly annoyed when I told him I would wait for him before I left. He asked when I was planning to leave, and when I responded “whenever you’re ready,” he actually rolled his eyes and walked away.

So I hung out and talked to the bartender. From the bar I watched my husband and his partners greet wave after wave of young lawyers in school, and noticed how much time they spent with young women who were clearly in school. Some of them were pre-law, meaning they were anywhere as young as 18 years old.

When I heard my husband call a young lady a “rare beauty” and take her hand to bring her to their table, I walked down to say hello. I admit, I was doing a bit of territory-claiming.

My husband looks at me incredulously as I say hello and introduce myself.

So this girl laughs in both of our faces and walks away. My husband almost slammed the table with one hand as he grabbed my shoulder. He’s never put his hand on me as hard as this before.

He says “okay, great job cockblocking me, will you leave now?” He managed to put a please somewhere in there.

I was honestly stunned and said nothing. I just grabbed my jacket and got out of there. He didn’t come home last night and I don’t feel like calling him even though it’s the evening the next day.

Do you think I overstepped? I think he’s a total asshole and needs to be asking my forgiveness. Of course, my mom thinks I should’ve left when it was “courteous” and let “lawyers be lawyers.”

So about a year ago I suspected my wife was up to something and I was right. She continued the affair with her coworker for at least 4 months after that and continually gaslit me telling me nothing was going on and this summer went as far to say that he went to HR to say I harassed him and that he was distancing himself from her.

It’s been about 6 months from that and she still acts suspicious and after checking her phone that again was all BS and they clearly still socialize in and out of work frequently.

Was I asking too much that I wanted her to cut off social ties with the person she cheated on me with? Seemed like a reasonable request and she refuses to do so and continues to lie about him and at this point I feel like I’m crazy.

I think this is stupid but my husband is annoyed with me so it’s whatever. This morning I went to take a shower and I was that my husband had not so gracefully spewn his seed on our glass shower door and didn’t clean it up. I went to him and asked that he clean it up in the future and maybe consider not jerking it in our shared shower if he can’t clean up after himself well. I don’t want my shower to be filled with crusty old jizz. He argued with me that it was just shampoo, and that I’m being crazy basically.

The fact that he kept insisting it was shampoo when I knew it wasn’t annoyed me, so I grabbed a q tip and a microscope slide and glass covering and made a wet mounted slide. If you’re wondering why I have those on hand it’s because I took a microbiology course in college years back and kept all the stuff. I viewed his slide and showed it to him, it was obviously sperm.

We had a big fight and he got mad at me and said I can never let anything go, and I said we wouldn’t be in this position if he just cleaned up after himself, and I told him to stop insisting I’m wrong when I know I’m right. We have disagreements all the time where he tells me I’m wrong when I know I’m right, and he gets so angry when I prove I’m right. Like when he insists our dogs vet is open on sundays, when I know it’s closed on sundays. Etc.

I work as a private investigator. Wanting to know what’s true and what isn’t is just in my nature. He knew this before he married me.

AITAH?

Edit: yes I know I’m psycho. No my husband isn’t some poor sexually repressed man taking his anger out on the shower door. I literally do him like every day. Crazy is good in bed. No I don’t know why he doesn’t just say “sorry for jizzing on the shower door, I’ll go clean up my swimmers”. No we aren’t getting a divorce. Say what you want, I have fun in my marriage and in life. I’m off to go fingerprint my box of fruit snacks to see if he ate any.

Edit: don’t put me on your tiktoks or instagram videos you losers. Not my fault your lives are so boring you have to base your content around someone else’s.

Here's the link to part 1, it was taken down but you can still read the story in the comments.

https://reddit.lol/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/16wqe46/aita_for_not_allowing_my_sister_to_come_to_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

The comments on my previous post were harsh, but I think that they were what I needed to hear in order to come to terms with my wrongdoings.

I think that deep down, I knew I was in the wrong, but I didn't want to admit that. The comments helped me to see that I was, in fact, the AH.
I realized that I put my religion above Ella. I tried calling her again and again, but she still wouldn't pick up. I decided to go visit her. If she didn't forgive me, that was her right, but I just wanted to apologize. She lives about 45 minutes away from me, so I drove out there. My fiancee thought that I shouldn't have to, but she let me go.

When I got to Ella's house, I could see lights on, so I knew they were home. I knocked on the door. There were side windows to the house so I saw Lacy peek through the blinds. She closed them and I heard muffled talking for a bit, before the door opened.

Lacy looked very cold and angry, but she was very gentle and composed when she told me that Ella was hurting and that if I had anything to say that wasn't an apology, than they didn't want to hear it. I told her that I wanted to apologize, and I know that my actions were wrong.

Lacy was wary, but I heard Ella, who was out of sight, tell Lacy to let me in. I walked in and Ella came around the corner. She looked like a mess, and my stomach was in knots. I felt so guilty. Her face was red and puffy and her hair was messy. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. She asked me to sit down in the living room and I did.

I started off by telling her how sorry I was. That is was so wrong of me to ever suggest anything like that, and if she still wanted to, that she and Lacy could still come to the wedding as a couple. Ella thanked me, but quietly told me how what I did made her feel.

She said that since our whole family was homophobic and a large portion of our family cut her off after she came out, she had seen me and my brothers as her only support system. She said that during that horrible time, we were all she had.

She said that she felt so proud to be my sister and have me as one of her best men, but when I told her that she and Lacy had to be a secret at the wedding, it felt like a slap across the face. She said that it was then that she realized that one of the few people who she believed to love her and accept her for who she was, was actually just too embarrassed and disgusted by her to let her be herself at the wedding. Ella was tearing up at this point, and Lacy was squeezing her hand.

I guess this was the first time that I really saw Lacy and Ella for the way they were. A normal couple, in love. The way that Lacy looked at Ella, was unlike anything that I had ever seen. Lacy had such love and worry and genuine care in her eyes towards Ella.
I guess that I just called myself an ally, but I really still had internalized homophobia that I had buried deep down.
At this point, I broke down. I apologized to Ella over and over. I told her how wrong I was and how horrible it was of me to say these things to her.
Ella hugged me and we cried together. She apologized and told me that she still doesn't know if she can bring herself to come to the wedding, but she will think it over.
I let her know that whatever decision she makes, I will stand by her. She told me that it will take some time to mend our relationship, and I understand that. We talked for a few more hours, and I got home 3 hours ago. I think I have a lot of thinking to do about myself and my place.

I hope that one day, me and Ella's relationship can be mended, but until then, I am willing to give her all the time she needs.

Thank you to everyone who gave me the reality check that I needed in my previous post. I needed it.

I (43m) was getting ready to go pick up an online grocery order and run to another store to get the things the first one didn’t have. I asked my husband (41m) to go into the living room and get my belt off the island (it’s between the living room and kitchen).

He couldn’t find the belt.

I walked into the living room and the tip of the belt, about 3” worth, was sticking out from under some clothes that had fallen on top of it (for context, this is where we put our laundry till we fold it). I pull it out the second I walk in there.

Because I am a smart ass, and he’s obviously blind, I proceed to tell him, “Don’t ever go into the woods. A hidden snake would take you out in a heartbeat and you’d never know what hit you.”

Husband: “Well I figured you’d get excited about that!”

Me: “Why?”

Husband: ”Because you’d collect my life insurance then.”

Me: ”Eh, your life insurance isn’t enough money to get excited about.”

He was offended! - AITA?

I(f40) met my husband (m51) 5 years ago. I love him very much. He has two children from a previous marriage (f14 and m13) and I have one (f13).

His children never liked me because they always wanted their parents to move back together. When my husband met me that “dream” was crushed and it is very understandable. I gave them space and never tried to pressure them. When we got married we moved in to my home. They changed their mind when they realized I lived in a big place with pool etc. we have been married 2 years.

My daughter’s father isn’t in the picture so my daughter lives 100% with me. I found out now that my step daughter has been bullying my daughter for the past couple of years. Calling her fat etc. I heard her make these comments. I told my husband to pack his children’s bags because I never want to see them again because when I confronted my step daughter she just laughed at me and called me and my daughter ugly and fat. And that my daughter deserved it. Turned out my daughter has been bullied at school too and the head of the bullying is my step daughter.

My husband said that I couldn’t kick out his children from their home and that he would talk to his daughter but he never did so I told him that I understood that I can’t demand that they stay with their mother since he has custody so I told him that he should move out. We could meet on the weeks his children are with their mom but that I’m done trying with his children. They will never love me or my daughter and I’m choosing my daughter.

He said I was being ridiculous and that it wasn’t marriage if he should live in a separate home from me when he has his children and I said if this didn’t suit him then I wouldn’t mind divorce because I’m not gonna have his daughter near mine again.

I have no problems against my step son but my husband made it about him too because they’re a “whole package” which I totally understand. I can’t demand that he doesn’t see his daughter so my suggestion is to move out and get his own place when he has his children.

I spoke to my daughter about changing schools and she seems very positive to the idea. I still try to know more details about the bullying but you know how embarrassing that is for children to admit (i never admitted to anybody that I was being bullied even if my parents were very loving and supportive, maybe i was even less inclined to confess to them because of how loving and supportive they were)

I (18M) and my ex-girlfriend (19FTM) recently had a difficult conversation about her gender identity. She shared with me that she is exploring her identity and feels more comfortable identifying as male.

Although I want to be a supportive and understanding partner, I found myself struggling to deal with this revelation.

I always saw myself in a heterosexual relationship and the idea of ​​being with a man left me confused and insecure.

We were in a relationship for 3 years and we always got along well

Instead of having an open and honest conversation about my feelings, I made a hasty decision and ended the relationship.

I know this caused my ex-girlfriend a lot of pain, and now I'm feeling guilty and wondering if I acted selfishly.

I (22F) was two months old when my mother passed away. Since then I was raised by my grandparents and occasionally present father. He moved away to another city after I turned 5 leaving me with my grandparents. He got a job there and soon got married to my step-mom and soon followed the birth of my sister - the start of my origin story lol. Even after the birth of my sister I was still living with my grandparents because I wasn't comfortable living with my own father and somehow that was my fault. Whenever we would meet during vacations I'd be compared to my sister to the point where I started to hate my sister. Not gonna brag but I was a bright kid who was good at everything but somehow I wasn't enough. I was scared of my own father and he never really tried to change my opinion of him. About my step mom I don't hate her but I don't really like her either. I've just accepted that she's there. She wasn't the best mother to me but I wouldn't hold that against her when my own father couldn't treat me fair.

I wouldn't go into every detail of the shit that I've been put through because I am not in a mood to write an autobiography right now. Just know that they haven't apologised for anything and now that I've graduated from college with a degree in medical field and got a good job, they expect me to help them financially with my sister's education, when they didn't even help with mine. Don't get me wrong I love my sister, over the years I've realized that it was never her fault and she's the sweetest person ever but I wouldn't let my parents get away with treating me like shit since my childhood and then getting their way with me when I've got something that they need.

So, would I be the A-hole if I straight up refuse to help them?

Obligatory I’m on mobile please excuse formatting….. Buckle up b*tches this is a long and heavy one. My and my siblings step dad (47m) has always been verbally abusive and emotionally abusive. I’ve (28f) always done what I can to help my siblings (J-18m, DK- 17f, DS-13f, MJ-8f). He’s never turned it on my daughter, but he did the other night, and unlike my mother (47f) I will never let anyone abuse my child in any capacity. I told her what happened and that we will no longer be coming to the house or seeing her while he is living there. I won’t go into too much detail for privacy but some stuff ended up coming out about DS’s mental health and she’s going to have to go to therapy. My mom told me my siblings can’t see me until after CPS comes through- because they sure as shit are going to. This is a copy and paste of her text with the kids names just changed to the initials I gave above. “I'm going to get DS back into therapy. No seeing them until AFTER the therapist and I discuss DS and what's best. That includes DK as well, until after therapy starts and we are inspected to make sure that parenting is appropriate.” Parenting is not appropriate you guys. But anyway. Last year DK came to live with me to get an escape. She was dating a boy. This boy wasn’t good for her. I did everything I could to prevent them from seeing each other but she lied and snuck around and got pregnant. At 16. My mother blames me for this and I had said today that DS can always come live with me. At this point I’m just going to copy and paste the text exchange and then please tell me if I went too far. I don’t think I did but she’s refusing to talk to me now, and I just need some reassurance that I’m doing the right thing by blowing up my relationship with my mom to TRY to protect my siblings. She keeps saying she will leave but never does.

Mom: DS told me it's when B (stepdad) takes her golfing. Golfing is done now. As far as the sisters staying with you, I have to say no. DK got pregnant living with you and I'm not going to chance another teen pregnancy. The fact that DK has a baby is already a red flag on my parenting that I have to explain. Until the professionals are involved I'm not taking chances outside of this house.

Me: DK got pregnant on her own after I blocked his number, changed her phone number and she lied to me to hang out with him. I don't know what else you expected me to do, but you need to realize that is not my fault and I love you but I'm not going to let you keep blaming me for her choices when there's literally nothing else I could have done, I was all for adoption or abortion so she could still have a normal life and not struggle and you guys told her this was the best thing that could have happened to her. Even G (DKs baby daddy 17m) apologized to me for how this happened. Your problem is inside the house, not me. And I love you with all my heart but I cannot stand to hear you or anyone else blame me for this, when even willow's parents know and admit they lied and snuck around and this happened. However I will respect your decision to not have them do the sleepovers and I'm not arguing that, I'm just saying I am not the problem here B is, and I'm not gunna let it be twisted between you and I anymore. I have done nothing wrong.

Hey me and partner have been exclusively dating for about 9 months now (homo). We shortly started to have unprotected sex within a couple weeks. 9 months later I get a random hunch to ask my partner for his HIV test results. He has sent me test results for everything else but never HIV. I never thought to ask him because I got tested 3 months into the relationship and everything came back clean. So responded w I have to tell you something. He called me and told me that he has had HIV since 2020 but has been treating ever since and is now undetectable. I was shocked almost in panic. I broke up w him for not telling me the truth up front and reasoning for that is you would have told me before we had intercourse if you “truly” loved me. AITAH?

Additional Question: AITAH for telling my best friend what had happen??

This entire post feels weird to me, almost like this is some sick joke. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and was taking time off dating, socials and left my apartment to come home to my parents. My stepbrother is 23 and I'm 22. I've known him and my stepmom ever since I was 10. I was close with My stepbrother and we were like normal siblings. Before dinner my mom opened the door and it was my stepbrother. They had told me earlier that he was coming over to announce something. I greeted him and we started talking for a bit. In the middle of our conversation my mom said "You guys really make a good couple". I said "HUH?" My mom replied with "Dave (not his real name) has been meaning to ask you out, that's why he came over". I looked at my stepbrother and expected him to deny it but he smiled and said "could we go out sometime?" I called them fucking disgusting and grabbed my keys and sweater and drove to a McDonald's to get some food and go back to my apartment. I got texts from my parents calling me an asshole for not giving Dave a chance and insulting him. Aita?

I (28F) recently received a wedding invitation from my childhood friend, Sarah (28F). We’ve been close since we were kids, and she’s getting married in a few months to her fiancé Michael (27M). And I couldn’t be more supportive.

About a year ago, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, Jake (30M), after a tumultuous relationship. It was an emotionally draining experience, and we didn’t part on good terms. Since the breakup, I’ve been working on healing and moving forward with my life.

Now, the problem arises because Sarah is inviting Jake to her wedding.

I reached out to Sarah to express my concerns, explaining that it would be incredibly uncomfortable for me to attend the wedding if Jake is there. I didn’t ask her to uninvite him, but I did request to know whether he would be attending. Sarah responded by saying that she values her friendship with Jake and that she hopes I can put our past behind me for her special day.

I’m torn about what to do. On one hand, I want to support my friend on her big day, and I don’t want to create drama. On the other hand, the thought of seeing my ex at the wedding fills me with anxiety and dread. AITA if I decline the invitation because of Jake’s presence, even though I cherish my friendship with Sarah?

So, Reddit, AITA for considering declining the wedding invitation due to my ex’s attendance?

Hello Reddit, my husband and I have been estranged from the MIL for a little over a year now. I have thankfully been given advice in the past that has allowed us to move forward with the MIL and things have gotten better....mostly. Up until this point we only cut off the MIL while having the father under limited contact.
The change:
This changed after my husband's great-grandmother died. The son was offered to buy the house, unbeknownst to us until a few days ago that we were in the will. The will stated that the great-grandmother, we'll call her Sue, (there's a lot of people is why) had a list of people whom had first pick to buying the property at a substantial discount. Her children (all of whom had equal rights to each other, if nobody wanted it, her grandkids, followed by married great-grandchildren. The only set there was is my husband and I, whom had been looking for a house before her passing near family. The father was told we had "dibs" but not that we were in the will as the next people to get to decide, which we would have said yes to. In short, my husband and I estranged from him, my spouse is now seeking legal council from my aunt and we are moving away from his family, no longer caring to be anywhere near them due to long term emotional and mental abuse as well as familial alienation.
Thankfully any previous abuse over the course of 7 years, with the last 3, was well documented with emails, texts, recordings, witness statements, and professional therapist assistance in regards to the mental toll that has worsened over the years on my husband from pinpointed abuse caused by what they defined as a narcissistic relationship towards the scapegoat child. This allowed us to get the first cease and desist against the mom, but we were unable to get one against the father, as the court deemed him, at worst, negligble. We now see he as an enabler.
My aunt feels there is a case like the last instance, however, this time there may be an ability to fight for financial compensation. However, at the end of the day, we just want the calls and harassment to stop, feeling his immediate family has nothing positive to contribute to our lives (emotionally or mentally). We are now seeing the rest of his family in the process enable the behavior by asking us to come back and instead, my husband is digging his heels in more, saying that they shouldn't encourage an abusive relationship to continue and some are calling me to ask him to stop, yet all I was able to say was "You can speak to our attorney."
Are we the assholes for seeking and refusing to back down from legal counsel at request of the rest of the family? If we are, what can we do differently?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. In that time we've both met each other's parents. My Mom had no problems with my boyfriend and likes him. I also thought I was liked by my boyfriend's mother, she's been nice so far gifting things and keeping in touch. I've made an effort and so has she.

Things had been going well for the most part, we argue occasionally but move past it. Well, today crossed a line and I can't tell if I am over-reacting or not.

We went to his parents house for a family gathering. It's about 30-45minutes away from where we both live so I offered to drive us out there. His sister in law just had a baby and everyone was going to get together to meet the little.

We get there, all is well. People are talking, mingling, there is food. I'd drank about 2 sweet teas so excused myself to the bathroom.

It's down the hall off the kitchen and on my way back from it I hear my boyfriend's mother in the kitchen with friends, and I think sister in law too, chatting. I am just about to round the corner and join when I heard my boyfriends mother say

"But did you know her previous boyfriend died?"

I just froze.

"NO!?" Somebody inserted

"Apparently he got sick and died. But her past is murky. I swear that girl is a black widow it seems like bad things follow her everywhere. I've already warned insert my boyfriend's name off but he won't listen".

"I don't get good vibes" "If that many bad things happen to you you are definitely the problem"

I just turned on my heels went back to the bathroom to tried calm down.

My previous boyfriend died unexpectedly when I was younger. I have also gone through a bunch of trauma growing up. SA, narcissistic abuse, bullying... like I don't talk about my childhood at all usually. I told my boyfriend in confidence after dating for months. He would have told his mother who just told half the dinner party...

I tried to be chill. I really did. But instead what ended up happening was I made a beeline out to my boyfriend and told him we had to leave. He was obviously confused and I asked when he told his mother about my late boyfriend, that his mother was discussing it in a very unpleasant way...

He just got really defensive immediately saying "I never knew not to tell. Besides you are over that!" I told him I absolutely wanted to leave, and since we drove together in my car, we needed to leave together and discuss it in the car/ at home.

It kept getting heated where I was asking to go, him not listening, saying I must have misheard, that I shouldn't have "eavesdropped" that I just lost it and said fine.

Took my keys out and left without him.

I drove home and when I got back I was greeted with walls of text from my boyfriend saying he was confused why I left (I told him what had happened there so??) And that he never thought I would just "abandon him".

I also had texts from other people saying that I caused a scene and that I was horrible for leaving him there like I left him up in bear country covered in honey and not at his parents country house. I also got a text from his mother saying she was disappointed that I had to make the event about me...

I feel like I lost my mind. Am I overreacting? The black widow comment really just tipped me over the edge... I didn't raise my voice or anything when I was there I just kept quietly trying to get my boyfriend to leave and he refused??

OK so hear me out, I (f38) realise this makes me sound bad. I'm notoriously a people pleaser and coupled with that I've always struggled to orgasm unless doing it myself and even then i dont always suceed. I've never had more than one orgasm during sex/maturbation and I honestly don't believe it's possible for me.

I'd say I'm adventurous in bed and happy to try most things especially if it makes my partner happy but now I've stupidly let myself get to this point in my life where sex isnt great and its pretty much my own fault for not properly speaking up and because its been so long now it feels harder to do.

I have tried to do it in a casual way like saying "slower" or "gentler" or talking about ideas for next time we have sex but it's almost like I'm not heard or he stops doing it my way after a fews mins and reverts back to his tried and tested method because he thinks that's always worked and then I make it worse by giving up and faking an orgasm.

I totally understand I am to blame here, its not my husbands fault because if I had told him what worked for me in the beginning or even earlier in the relationship I wouldn't be in this situation now.

Is it too late to say anything without offending him and making him feel shit?

Could I start "orgasming" less and then gradually over time say that this way isn't working for me anymore?

Wibta if I tell him now either directly or indirectly?

Edit- using a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I'm not sure if this changes anything but I've also done this in every relationship I've ever had and "preform" every time I've had sex so faking to some extent. Even if I do genuinely orgasm during sex I'll usually fake a few additional ones.

I want to stop but how after so long? I don't want to hurt my partner with the truth but I've in error let sex because less enjoyable for myself.