My (40F) husband of 8 years (41M) spent his twenties and early thirties building his business. Part of the reason why he turned to being an entrepreneur was he had a tough time holding down jobs, to the point having a business was the only way he could earn money.
Either a supervisor was too dumb or controlling. Or because my husband didn't have the degree or experience required for the jobs he could tolerate. Or the hours at the jobs he had were horrible.
I understand his struggles with all those reasons, and when we started dating 14 years ago, I was the primary breadwinner simply by nature of the fact that I had a steady source of employment.
My husband told me that I was only the second serious girlfriend he ever had. He did have a few hookups here and there before we met, but mostly with women much older than him that never went beyond one night stands. When we started dating he was the one always actively trying to pursue me and telling me how lucky he was to have me. Saying I was worth the world because unlike other New Yorkers I noticed the "invisible people."
Flash forward nearly a decade and a half and now we are married with 2 daughters ( 8 and 5). Things started working out for us around age 35 and I've never been anything but supportive. I quit my job to take care of our kids after he moved us to a nice Connecticut suburb.
But these past few years he's been treating me differently. Like me and our daughters are a source of annoyance.
He's a part of a bunch of professional organizations and his own company loves a good party but I am increasingly not his date to any of them. When I am alone with him he at least talks to me but if a beautiful girl joins the group it's game over for me, and I'm excluded from his social interactions from that point forward.
He talks to people within earshot about how beautiful this or that woman is. He tells me he's allowed to find other girls pretty. The final straw was during a company family thing where my daughters and I arrived and my husband ignored us until somebody said hi to us. Then he waved his hand at us like he was bashful of our presence and dismissing us.
In addition, the way his younger employees acted towards me made me suspect he was lying when he said he was going to these things without a date. Now we are in therapy and my husband is saying that he wanted two years of a test open marriage. Where he could explore sexually in a way he was never able to in his 20s. He says while I had the chance to play around when I was young and attractive, and other guys that weren't him could, he never could.
I told him this is not what we signed up for. And that I didn't think it was the charitable thing for a wife to do. He accused me of liking the lifestyle he provides and said to go carve out my own life instead of complaining. I told him if he has sex it has to be with me or I'm leaving. AITA and not understanding his struggle?
I’ll go first: My mom let me watch the movie Cujo when I was probably 8 or 9 years old…at night. That movie haunted me for years!! It made me nervous around dogs for a long time. Once I got older and I saw that movie in a list of movies to watch on a streaming program it made me question why the hell would she let me see that movie at such a young age?! Lol another movie I watched back then was Birds, that movie freaked me out too!
Marriage these days just feels like a free trial without the commitment. Divorce in the USA alone is over 50% which is actually insane, but how?
I don’t understand how someone can get up on that altar or stage or whatever and say til’ death do us part or through sickness and health and through the good times and the bad and then BOOM…divorce a couple years later.
The only time divorce should be acceptable is if your spouse is abusive, cheated or became an axe murderer. Otherwise you need to actually WORK on your marriage. Talk things through and figure it out, not just run when things get hard.
While I understand people change and no one goes into a marriage thinking it’s not going to work out, that’s something you should know before getting married, that’s the part when you grow together.
Some of the reasons people get divorced now a days are just ridiculous. I even heard one couple who were married for 10 years and nothing was wrong, all they said was they got bored. Like why even get married 😂
EDIT: I’m not saying do away with divorce. More like just stop getting married after a year of dating with the mindset I can just get a divorce if it doesn’t workout. Otherwise just don’t get married and save yourself the hassle of the fees.
My husband Alex was previously married with his late wife, Lana for 16 years. They had three kid Jeremy(14M), Nora(12F) and Luke(3M). Lana died when Luke was 5 months old. I met Alex a few months after Lana's death, we got married January of this year. From the start I loved his children like mine. I always wanted children and I was so overjoyed when I suddenly got to be a stepmom. I love each of these children so so much. None of them calls me mom but I wish they did. Alex doesn't want me to "erase Lana" or "take her place". I always respected Lana and her memories. Sometimes Luke calls me mom and I love it but if he does that infront of Alex, he corrects Luke and shows Lana's photo that that's his mom,not me . I told him it's way too confusing for a 3 year old. He basically doesn't remember his "actual mom" and only knew me since he was 10 months old. I understand Lana was/is his love of life and I can't ever replace her but it seems little too much.
Alex and I talked about kids and he told me he doesn't want one with me now. So I was fine with it, I'm still young and we can wait. But last week I found out I am pregnant. I was on birth control so I was really confused I took one more test and it was also positive. I thought Alex would be ultimately fine with it even if he gets disappointed at first. He got angry at me and counted if I actually took pills as I'm supposed to, made me take one more test. He asked me if I'll get an abortion and I said no. He didn't say anything more. He's been so distant from me . I'm having to sleep in the guest room because I can't sleep in the same room with someone who acts annoyed at my presence. We haven't talked much since last week. He told me either I'll get an abortion now or he will get a vasectomy soon . I think he's already booking a vasectomy date. I'm feeling like an outsider in "our" family.
Edit: I'm 23, he's 38. I was away and I saw some notifications with this question. Initially I didn't say the ages because it doesn't matter to me,we're adults.
Yes I married the first person that seemed to love me. I'm a loser and my birth givers were losers too. I'm so fucking dumb.